Death
of a Comedian
Spotlights shine down into my eyes. Their heat creates a
sheen of sweat on my face as I tell my punch line.
“Wow,” I said, “I’m likin’ that!” Everyone in
the room started to laugh. The laughing continued a moment so I let it die
down.
“Thank you, you’ve been great, goodnight.” I quickly exited the stage and descended into
the pit that is called back stage. People flowed left and right as I made my
way through the river of crew members which made the event seem to run so
smoothly.
I finally pushed past the stampede and made it to my
room. I slammed the door behind me and leaned back on it sighing, “I’m glad
that’s over.”
“Over huh? I thought you had six more shows this week?”
I jumped slightly as I realized I wasn’t alone in the
room. A large, dark, man with cauliflower ears and a broken nose sat in large
plush armchair in the corner of my room.
“It’s too bad for those who bought tickets, almost makes
me want to wait until the end of the week but, oh well, that’s life.”
I began to tremble as he stood up out of his chair and
took a lengthy stride over to me.
“Please, relax it will make this so much easier.” His
mouth split open in a grotesque grin displaying brown rotting teeth. “You know
what, tell me a joke and I’ll give you one more day, but it had better make me
laugh, or else…”
My mind frantically raced and I went through my list of
jokes until I decided on my closer. It was sure to make him laugh, hopefully…
I began to stutter, “Um okay have you ever heard the one
about the dog and the pizza? Well one day…” Bang, Bang, Bang! Three knocks
cracked across the door and a voice shouted from the other side.
“Hey, boss man say’s you need to move your car, it’s
parked in a handicapped spot.”
“Oh okay I’ll get right on that,” I choked out.
The large man shook his head and said, “It’s too bad,
that wasn’t funny at all. And I thought you had so much talent.”
My eyes bulged, “Wait no! I didn’t get to tell my joke,
I…”
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